Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
