Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
