you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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