I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
