you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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