the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
