guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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