I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
