Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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