No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
