I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
do herpes really smell.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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