can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
