when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
