i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
