Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
