Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
