You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize