dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
