Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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