Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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