Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
