Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
