hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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