The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Sober January is a disaster.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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