Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
