you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
