Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
