when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
