At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
