I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
