its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
