No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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