I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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