Do you still have your period?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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