you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
