Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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