Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
