I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize