I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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