Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize