my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
