We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
