The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
