All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
