I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
