yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
