what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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