man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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