what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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