if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
