I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize