dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
