Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
