let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I look better un-naked...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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