I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
