ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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