This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's shark week go big or go home
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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