Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
