so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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