Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
