It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
