I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
