need another drink. this is the easiest way
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
