so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize