I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
