its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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