Dual....:-)
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
