their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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